THE PASSING-THROUGH KAMEN RIDER PRESENTS: A COUNTDOWN
TOP 10 HAZBIN HOTEL SONGS
Hello everyone, I am the Passing-Through Kamen Rider and I am back for another countdown. After having counted down what I think were the ten best songs in Hazbin Hotel, I am planning to do the same to the sister series, Helluva Boss. Helluva Boss had its own fair share of banging numbers and I will count down the ten I think are best.
Now I was going to wait until season two was done…But I couldn’t wait. Helluva Boss’ songs are easily as good as in its counterpart with a series of tunes that are musical delights.
Please note they are solely based on my opinions. Yours may differ so please be respectful. If not, go to Hell.
Without further ado, let’s begin!
(Pulls out a Driver, and a card that says ‘Countdown’!) HENSHIN!
Kamen Ride! C-C-Countdown!
10) OH MILLIE
To start the list we start with a cheesy love serenade. Moxxie decides to serenade his wife. Since they are both assassins the sweet and cheesy tune with the guitar solo is mixed in with various refs on how about Moxxie loves her carnage and battle spirit. Because Millie, she is quite an action girl and knows how to kill. The contrast between the murder in the music video and his upbeat tune, it puts a smile on your face for both the heartwarming and odd humor.
To say that these two hellborns have a healthier relationship than most of the couples I know in real life says something. Moxxie, you romantic dork, you and Millie are treasures, and she deserves all the serenades you give her. And your little tribute to your angel of death, starts off the list rather nicely. If only Blitz didn’t ruin the moment.
Moxxie: Are you f***ing filming us right now?
9) YOU GOT THE POWER
This sounds like an 80’s rock anthem. I mean the song immediately makes you think about the soundtrack of an epic 80’s action movie. And Transformers, for some reason I am reminded of Transformers.
It is a sing that is played while Millie is rocking out on a stage when she was undercover at a summer camp due to an assignment…while Blitz and Moxxie were trying to kill a camp councilor whom was involved in their client’s murder and Blitz’s long lost sister is mixed up in there…yeah, better watch the episode.
Despite this weird situation the song feels…Powerful. I don’t know how else to describe it. Put it over any other 80’s action scene and it would fit. Don’t have a lot to say, but if you have heard it, you…just know.
I believe I have the power now…that or the urge to also listen to that one Transformers song, be right back.
8) VACAY TO BONETOWN
Well, we got Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s voice actress portraying a succubus singing a siren’s song to get a bunch of summer vacay frat boys and gals horny. XD
And best of all, the song is actually quite soothing. It is a song that’s soft, calming, relaxing…the song you would love to hear when you go on vacation…if you don’t think of the fact it literally has ‘bonetown’ in the title and it has some innuendos in the mix.
During the musical number her group of fellow succubi and incubi are around trying to bone as many of these college students as possible, and they don’t really give a damn about gender. And since they are in a bet with IMP about them bagging more people than they can kill, they are mixing business and pleasure.
Well, it works as if I didn’t know it was about a slutty succubus who wants to make sure that she and her demon slut group get the bones they crave, I would feel like going on a vacay, I feel I need it.
I also need a girlfriend…just no succubus. XD
7) COTTON CANDY
Like Hazbin Hotel for Lucifer, this show fleshes out several of the other Lords of Deadly sins. And what they did with Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies…Is now a female bee…lava Lamp…hellhound hybrid and she is a party girl.
And what a party, she starts off the song with a banger. It is colorful, festive and it is pop at its finest. Despite famous singer Kesha voicing Bee, she doesn’t do the singing voice, that is instead Rochelle Diamante…Due to legal issues, which also caused her debut episode to be delayed. But still it is sung beautifully.
Aside the colorful visuals, Beelzebub really gets the party started by handing out sweets and drinks to everyone so they can get sloshed or full. And the song clearly states, she is all about having others and herself indulge. It’s about what they want, not what they need. And Cotton Candy, pure sugar with no real nutrients, so it is the perfect analogue what she provides. She provides no true fulfillment, just indulgent, party vibes and consume without a care.
Despite that Bee is likeable…and I can’t believe an animated series had me root for more then half the supreme demon overlords in Hell already. But seriously, this song is a banger, and I really feel like partying when I hear it.
I may not like cotton candy but I’m sure Bee has other sweets at the party. And if not, I’ll indulge in the sweet music. Because my biggest sin is gluttony and I am gluttonous for sweets and music.
6) CRASHIN’ A WEDDING
Moxxie’s mob boss father forces Moxxie to marry a loser shark demon called Chaz. Millie doesn’t like that so she and Blitz crash the wedding in the most spectacular way. It starts funny with Blitz saying ‘We’re doing a Shrek’ and ‘I object!’ Then it is all about Millie slaughtering mobsters to get to her man while this song plays in the background.
It is action country music that somehow fits well to the scene of Millie turning Crismon’s goons into sashimi. And believe me the animation gets really good during the fight scene with several gory and creative kills and action that has you on the edge of your seats. And this song just keeps pumping you up.
In the end we have learned two things: Moxxie’s ass is Millie’s and anyone whom gets in between that, reap what they’ve sown. Second, I mean it, don’t tick off Millie. I love her but if she was ever coming from me I’d move to Jupiter and that may not be enough either.
5) KLOWN B****
From one of my fav, if not my fav episode, we got Glitz and Glam. Two bitchy fish demonesses whom try to knock our boy Fizzarolli of the throne and become Mammon’s newest cash cow and getting a claim to fame. While you expect a pair of bitchy sardines like them to cheat but…they don’t. They enter the contest and earn their scores fair and square. They actually are rocking their act through actual good performances. To the point Mammon sets his sexism aside since they impressed them.
And then they bring a pop song with rap segments in to promote themselves during the final round. And this song is really impressive. These two can sing, dance and they know how to use their sex appeal to draw in the crowd. May not have to do a lot with clowns, but they make sure to show them they are very marketable, they play Mammon’s game and know they have a chance to succeed.
I also love a lot of the lyrics, which are well thought out. Especially ‘Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can rent you paradise.’ That is a zinger.
While these slutty sushi platters are just there to be b****y rivals, they at least know how to perform and were a believable threat in the competition against Fizz. And I’ll give them that, they earned that spot in the finals.
4) OWL IN A CAGE
Stolas knows how to sing. And in this song, Stolas sings a song of heartbreak. He is in love with Blitzo, but he hasn’t expressed it in a good way and it has been pushing Blitz away. The fact that Blitz was one of the few points of light aside his daughter in a hellish life, in a broken marriage and a gilded cage, you feel sorry for him.
And the way his actor sings it…there is breaking in his voice. He doesn’t keep a tune like normal. The breaks in the voice really sounds like someone singing but it being muddled by emotion. That is talent, it sounds so natural.
Neither Blitz or Stolas had healthy relationships before and they don’t know how they should treat their own. Both had faults but both genuinely care. But I guess that they’re still beings born from Hell and everything is messed up and as a shipper of the pairing, I hope they can overcome this. At least Stolas in later episodes seems to try and make amends but we’ll have to see where that leads.
Anyhow, this song ranks high, for the sheer emotion, the turmoil of this tortured soul. You don’t see a Prince of hell, you don’t see a powerful owl demon, you just see a broken man whom feels trapped and felt he may have permanently damaged a bond he held precious. And it is something that brings tears to your eyes.
I’m not crying you’re crying…I was cutting onions!
3) THE HOUSE ASMODEUS
Well this song is more upbeat. And we shift gear into a smooth jazzy tune sung by the voice behind the Broadway version of Disney’s Aladdin’s Genie. I’m amazed they keep getting these high end voice talents for these shows.
Now we meet one of the Seven Sins, Asmodeus, the lord of Lust. When Moxxie sings a love song in his domain, Ozzie ain’t having it. He is about lust, and he doesn’t want to hear about love. He wants to hear you sing about the carnal desires, the pleasure of the body. And he sings it all while sounding so smooth and soft yet so powerful.
It gets a bit crazier about halfway when Ozzie and his boytoy Fizz can’t convince Moxxie to go from love songs to lust songs. However, Blitz accidentally reveals himself and Stolas. Resulting in a cameo from Verosika whom says what a selfish and bad boyfriend Blitz was. And Stolas’ relationship with Blitz revealed and Ozzie both mocking and praising Stolas for giving in to the spirit of lust and selling his life for a bit of adult fun.
It was my fav for a tie because of how showstopping the song is. The song is as seductive as you expect from the lord of lust and hence it takes the bronze. If only the last note wasn’t cut off by Millie bonking Fizz on the head. But still, it is one of my absolute favs.
2) YOU WILL BE OKAY
Stolas gets a lot of good songs. He has such a soft and gentle voice and his musical numbers hit emotions. And of course a lot of people think this song should be number one. And while it isn’t, I couldn’t put it anywhere but in the top three.
It is a sweet little lullaby he sings for his daughter. He may be a Prince of Hell but Stolas is best Owl dad. The lullaby is soothing and the visuals are stunning, with a lot of cosmic phenomena going on as he lulls his daughter to sleep. Even odder in how he describes the end of the universe and hell and even then he assures all to his little ‘starfire’ that everything will be okay.
This is not the lullaby I grew up with but if someone sung that tune to me as a kid, I would always believe things turn out ok. Stolas, you may be a horny son of a gun, but you are one heck of a dad and singer.
HONORABLE MENTIONS
I.M.P. Jingle – I have to disagree with Moxxie, this jingle was a good idea. It is hilarious in how they promote murder with such upbeat song. It’s just funny.
Mustang Dong – A parody of metal/rock anthems about relationships having gone bad. They really made the song and the lyrics over the top but that made it work for it rather well. Even if it talks about how his privates grew back twice as big. But it is the song the weird horse fetishist Blitz would listen to in his car.
Crooked – A sweet little love song between Asmodeus and Fizzarolli, whom are just such a cute couple and so genuine. It is a genuine love song on how they truly love each other. I so ship them.
Regular Joe – Millie needs more songs of her own. And this one about how she is so amazing in her disguise at that summer camp she becomes instantly popular and she doesn’t know why. I’ll tell you why Millie, you are the greatest and people realize.
Now up to number one!
1) 2 MINUTES NOTICE
After being exploited by the greedy fat bastard of a Mammon, put through the wringer and emotional trauma, after being encouraged by the friend he reconnected with and the loss of his life, Fizzarolli decides to end his job with Mammon…but goes out with a bang.
And is this the showstopper to end all showstoppers. We have seen Fizz sing and dance before and he was good. But this song…either he came up with it on the fly and managed to make it look good or he had this prepared in case he decides to quite…we see the true power of Fizz, how he was able to win the clown pageant ten years in a row easily, ironically in the last show he’ll give as Mammon’s prized moneymaker he shows why he was chosen by Mammon as a successor in performing from the start. We see him as the champion entertainer. Great singing, great musical score, great visuals, he is doing acrobatics and amuses and hypes up the crowd easily. He is the artist.
And he sticks it to that Christmas tree ass looking bogan of a Mammon as he takes a musical number devoted to stick it the jolly green jackass, calling him out on exploiting him, how he had enough and where he can stick it. Funny thing is Mammon doesn’t realize it is aimed at him and he is even vibing to the song until he is name dropped.
And there is a lot of visuals whom also help. Fizz is slowly tearing parts off at the costume, like showing off the parts he normally hides like his cybernetics or burns or throwing away the cuffs as if he is breaking chains. The whole song, every movement, every word sung, every showstopping action taken, comes together as an amazing whole.
While I love a lot of Hellverse songs some curses are dropped in just to remind us it is an adult show and may not do much else. But here the cursing and vulgarity is warranted because Fizz is truly sticking it to his abusive soon to be ex-employer and work greatest than when another song drops a rando F-Bomb. He is letting out frustration, disabling the filter and says to Mammon that he is a huge sad sack of shit.
And we root for Fizz. From the moment in the song he announces his two minutes, until the end of the song, two minutes have passed. Everything in this song is well thought out, animated and conceived. Quitting a job was never this amusing or theatrical. I love my job and will never do it. But for Fizz it worked out for the best.
And that is why it is my favorite song. It has everything, this song is as close to perfect as I feel it can get. And that’s why it is my number one song, and I don’t see future episodes knocking it down from the top spot any time soon. Fizz, you were always golden, but you take the gold now as the singer of the number one best Helluva Boss song.
This was another countdown of mine, I hope you enjoyed. Since my opinion may differ from yours, feel free to share you opinions in the comments below. As long as your remain. Otherwise I’ll do like Fizz and say ‘F*** you!’
This was the Passing-Through Kamen Rider, and I hope to get to do more countdowns, essays and reviews in the future. See you next time!
Yeah, it had to be either You Will Be Okay and 2 Minutes Notice. I will say I often recite Loo Loo Land in my head for it being so catchy :)